A passageway is a transitional period that bridges one world to another. In shamanic cultures such phases of deep transition were always honored. Celebrations around a young woman’s first bleed, the arrival of a new tribe member, the crossover from boy to man and so on were pivotal points in time. The more they were honored the more those undergoing these transitions were able to pivot into the unknown and embrace the faced challenges with ease, grace and sovereignty. Knowing that the whole village had their back and best interests at heart.
In modern society, change has become almost a scary word. Our cyclical nature as women is suppressed. The transitions we make as young impressionable adults happen without guidance from elders. We no longer live in an intergenerational household, as the old are shoved away to an elderly home. A young mother tackles motherhood on her own in her four walls. And so forth. Life as it is currently lived, the modern family is in many ways unnatural in my opinion. Not that it is all wrong - absolutely not. But the disconnection we are experiencing from one another is a real thing and leaves us feeling very lonely and isolated at times.
I believe we are on the brink of reinterpreting ancient knowledge in modern times. We are waking up to an innate desire for real connection. That we need each other and long for community.
Where am I going with this? I mean this is supposed to be an article on ritual and now I am speaking about community. Well, it is because, I would love to see you gather with your own tribe. Invite them on this ride along as your young one is blossoming into a new being.
Having various influences, relationships and connections is what children also crave deep down. I have always observed it in my children how natural it is for them to have people around. Build, cultivate, nurture your tribe - kids included. As the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child and this is so true. We have become so separated that we leave the task almost solely to the mother.
The age of 7 is when children experience a developmental growth in their consciousness. They become more self-aware of their environment. During this time it is when boys especially experience a hormonal growth in testosterone. In ancient cultures, this marks the time when a boy became part of the men. No longer with the mother, he was now ready to explore the duties of the men in the tribe. The foundation of nurturance was set by the women of the tribe. Now it was time for the men to step in as the guides.
Until then children are meant to be "just" children. Their way to learn is through play. I always recommend not overburdening children with too many activities until they are 7 years old. The more space they have to explore, be, and play, the more they will use their fantasy and their creative gifts. Sometimes even being bored is a blessing in disguise for a child, because that is when they are forced to be creative in other ways and they will become naturally in tune with themselves.
conscious bonding
As your child is transitioning to kindergarten use this time to bond with him or her. Go on nature hikes, play outside all day long, let them decide what they want to do for the day, if you have the space and capacity. This time will enable them to feel confident in their being before the big start into a new chapter. We often believe that too much closeness will scar them in some way. That they will become too dependent on us as their providers. There is a difference between emotional closeness and babying them. Our babies, they will remain forever in some way. However, it is part of our path as their guides to show them how to become more self-reliant. Giving them the tools they need to learn really practical things about everyday life will translate into invaluable knowledge for the future. Even if it is as much as how to dress themselves and tie their own shoes. This is where it starts.
nurture your inner world as a parent
As your child is transitioning, also take care of your inner world. Make sure that you have a channel for the emotions you might be going through. I remember how emotional it was for me personally when my first born started his kindergarten journey. It was also for me a transition - the one of letting go. Probably the first of many times in a mother's life.
Here are some of my personal favorites to finding an outlet for my emotions, concerns or projections:
Journal. Explore your inner worlds of emotions and thoughts on paper.
Have conversations with trusted friends and family members. What is on your heart? Be vulnerable and let yourself be heard and held.
Be creative. Write, paint, knit, whatever is tingling and waiting to be expressed by your creativity. This is a wonderful outlet to explore.
Go for a walk in nature. This will probably be on every list you ever read, cause it really works and helps relieve your stress levels in such an almost immediate way. As you walk imagine how nature is absorbing any worry, negativity, fear etc from your body. It is being transformed by the nature surrounding you.
Dance it out with music that makes me want to move my body intuitively. Concentrate on your breath and what viscerally comes up for you while you dance.
Sing, drum, rattle. Simple shamanic tools for you to activate your throat chakra and are known to relieve stress. I often end up crying when I do so. It touches my Soul and maybe something I can not express otherwise. This practice is not meant for you to sound pitch perfect. If you feel most comfortable, be alone while you sing your heart out. It can be to a made up song, or if singing a vowel such as O, I, E, U or A.
how much emotions do I show as a parent?
I encourage you to show your emotions in front of your little ones. There are a lot of mixed feelings about this. I hear it from parents all the time. “What parts of myself do I show “ which makes them withhold their truest emotions such as when they want to cry. Already asking that question feels restrictive for me. I believe when children see the entire spectrum of emotions, they will also understand their own a lot better. They will not hold any stigma around emotions, because they felt that it was natural and part of life to express them. We are never too much. We are only too little of ourselves in my opinion. It is about witnessing the entire cycle of when mommy was sad and how she moved through it. Because intuitively they will pick up on your emotions anyway, so why not be honest about them? Create a safe environment for your emotions to be explored, understood, and processed. This is a practice, like anything else.
kindergarten blessingway ritual
Gather as a community (close knit friends and family members) and have everyone write down at least one wish or desire they have for your daughter or son.
Have your child express their own wish/desire for kindergarten, even if it is that they do not want to go. Give them room to feel that.
Make it a special day for the child, either it only with the parents, without the brothers and sisters and let them have your entire attention for the day. Or gather with their friends who will also start with kindergarten soon. Invite the whole family, the grandparents and friends - this is up to you! Tune into the individuality of your child and what you think your child would enjoy. No gifts are need, only blessings and best wishes to the new chapter.
Offer your wishes/desires to the Universe by connecting with one of the elements.
Water - After every wish is said, give an offering to water. This could be in a bowl of water and you can use petals of flowers or leaves as the offering and as a symbol of the wish. Later give this offering to Earth or to a body of water (lake, river or ocean).
Fire - Burn the wishes and hand it over to the Universe, completely trusting that the Universe is taking care of you and your wishes.
Air - Speak it into reality. Keep the words of wishes on a list and hang it up in the child’s room.
Earth - Write the wishes on large enough stones. Maybe just one word on a stone for example: courage.
Which one of the four speaks to you the most? Whatever comes into your mind, go with it. If you can’t explain it, then that is a sign it is coming from your intuition leading the way.
I am soul excited for you to embark on this ritualistic journey. This is for you no matter if you are an advanced ritual maker or not. The most important part of creating ritual is that you listen to your inner voice most of all. Amend the ritual to your individuality. Make your own rules in life! This is what I desire to see more of in life. I am here to merely ignite that seeds of consciousness in you that are so deeply connected that you know without knowing.
So, don’t overthink it. Don’t get hung up on the details. Most importantly, go with the flow with how it turns out, no matter how it does.
The medicine is there.
The magic is provided.
All you have to do is create the space and receive.
the blessings don't stop there
Every day before sending your child off to kindergarten, bless him. The blessing of the parents is one of the strongest blessings there is. Kiss his or her forehead, speak to their Guardian Angels, tell your child that he/she is always protected. And then let them go, fully trusting, confident that no matter what curveballs your child will receive, that he/she is being guided.
I hope you have found this article helpful, inspiring and encouraging. If so, then please do let me know! I always love to hear from you. Also, you as the intuitive parent you are, tune into what feels right for you and drop the rest. This is my invitiation for you to do so always in life. We can be so bombarded with "well meant" advice, that we then often ignore our best advice givers - our intuition.
Submit any questions and ritual requests via blog articles here: hola@ineskelly.com
I am soul excited for you and your little one journeying into this life transition. One that will define many years to come. Be mindful, be present.
Wishing you all the best from the bottom of my heart,
From one Mother to another,
Inés Kelly
☼☾
who am I?
Inés Kelly
shamanic healer - moon ceremonialist
Creating sacred spaces since 2019 - I am an advocate for finding sacredness in our every day life.
Feeling the pressure from being a mother these Starseed children coming on this Earth nowadays, then do step into sacred space with me. I offer 1:1 healing sessions for women in person in Zurich or online. Heal with me ♡
I love this so much! Thank you for sharing.